Now, while I may not be a man, I happen to have grown up with more than a few (So. Many. Brothers.) so I consider myself somewhat well-informed on what guys – bros in particular – enjoy. While all men are undeniably entertaining, my favorite guys happen to be festival bros.  What exactly is a festival bro, you ask? Well, you might be one if you have ever gone to a concert and said/yelled one or more of the following:

• You know what this festival needs? BEER PONG.
• Sun’s out, guns out!
• Yo dude, put on “Levels” again!
• Watch it! You almost spilled beer on my “Party With Sluts” tank!
• Oh my GOD man, did you see the slam-pieces at the port-a-potties? That brunette in the fringe could GET IT.
• I’m not settling for any girl less than a solid 7.5 today. Last week was an exception.
• LET’S F*CKIN’ RAAAAGGGGEEEEEE!!!!!!

Yeah, you know who you are.

Lucky for you, I happen to have compiled a list of absolute bro-sentials for your rage-cation, so you can focus on having the most bitchin’ time possible rather than worrying about what to pack.  So, without further ado…

1) SOLO CUPS – Always a staple of any party, pre-game, post-game, or Tuesday morning, Solo Cups have been scientifically proven (not really) to serve approximately a million different purposes.  I mean, come on, they can hold beer, liquor, OR soda (only if you’re lame though, go home.) So make sure to grab at least one pack for any festival outing and get your drink on!
BRO TIP: Don’t bring too many.  If you “happen” to run out, or your drunkard friends wander off with them, you can always strike up a convo with the hottie the next car over to borrow some. SHWING!

2) SH*T BOX – Yo man, don’t look at me like that. You know as well as I do that there’s literally NOTHING worse than being so close to sealing the deal with that 9.5 you were talking to (you know, the one that lent you the solo cups? Yeah, that one) and having the beer sh*ts. Even worse? All her friends are over at the port-a-potties still, and will totally judge you if you’re in there for more than five minutes.  So excuse yourself to “get more beer,” grab this happy little doody box, find a quiet corner (good luck with that,) and pop a squat. You’ll be glad you did.
BRO TIP: Bring extra sh*t bags. While lightening may never strike twice, poop very well might.

3) NEON CLOTHING – Whether it be the above-mentioned “Party With Sluts” tank or a simple trucker hat that says “Rage,” you NEED neon. This way, what you’re there for is clear, and the bids can see you from a mile away. Doesn’t get better than that.
BRO TIP: The more neon, the better.  You know what they say, YORO, “You Only Rage Once”…that weekend, that is.

4) BEER KOOZIE – Every good bro should be like a boy scout when it comes to getting hammered: always prepared.  Beer koozies are probably the most basic thing you can have, but are also the most useful.  There are few things worse than a warm Natty Light, hamiright?
BRO TIP: if at all possible, your koozie should say something. Great conversation starter, and everyone knows that only GDI’s have plain ones. Don’t be a GDI.

5) SUNGLASSES – The last thing you want to do is have everyone think you’re a creeper because it looks like you’re glaring at them all day.  Avoid that problem altogether and match your hat and tank with some neon wayfarers.  The best part? They’re so cheap that they’ll barely cut into your beer fund!
BRO TIP: Avoid anything with a tinted lens.  No one wants to look at you and see there drunken selves in your eyes.

6) DISPOSABLE CAMERA – While many say that “memories may last forever” let’s face it: if you don’t remember anything in the first place, they really don’t.  Make sure that those memories really do stay with you by bringing a camera to the festival, and hey, also make sure to snap a pic with all of the 9’s you were talking to so you can make all your bros back home jealous.
BRO TIP: No selfies.

7) LIGHTERS – For regular cigarettes, funny cigarettes, or even if you just like to burn sh*t, you never want to be the guy without a lighter. If a slampiece comes up to you and asks for a light, what are you gonna do? Nothing, you’re going to watch her go to the Sigma Delta Boner a couple people down and lose a bangin’ opportunity. Don’t be that guy.
BRO TIP: Try not to use said lighter to set that pledge that tagged along on fire.

8) SPEAKERS – What’s a pre-game without some bitchin’ tunes? LAME, that’s what.  Bring some portable speakers along to make sure you don’t overheat and/or kill the battery of your mom’s minivan, we all know how she is when she’s mad. (She’s HOT, that’s what.)
BRO TIP: When I say portable speakers, I mean just that: SPEAKERS. Don’t be the guy with the boombox, (too big and 90’s,) and even worse, don’t skimp on the speakers altogether and be the guy with the guitar (no one wants to hear you play “Wonderwall” AGAIN.)

9) UMBRELLA – Now, many would not think of this, but an umbrella is really a sure-fire way to pick up chicks.  Think about it: it starts to pour, all the 9’s are going to be terrified of melting into 7’s (or even 6’s in some rare cases, yikes,) so why not have them snuggle up under your nice big umbrella with you? Exactly. You’re welcome.
BRO TIP: Have your umbrella be as big as possible. The more the merrier, after all.

10) CONDOMS – Yeah, you read that right. I’m going there. Always prepared, remember?
BRO TIP: Nothin. You got this…go get em, slugger.

Happy raging!

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GUESS WHAT?! The video of Metallica’s surprise “Kill ‘Em All” set at the Orion Festival has just been released!

I know. I. KNOW.

The set was done on the first day of the legendary Detroit festival, and came as a massive surprise for all concertgoers when they were told that a mysterious band named “Dehaan” was going to play at 4:30 on a small side stage.  Dehaan’s banner had the band’s name crossed out in red spray paint, with the classic Metallica phrase, “Metal Up Your Ass” written over it.  At 4:30 on the dot, Metallica stormed the stage and launched into a surprise set of their first album, “Kill ‘Em All,” successfully making every person in attendance’s day.  For those of us not lucky enough to see the now-notorious performance, the band has put up the full set for everyone to experience the full power of the thrash metal Gods, and let me tell you – you WILL head bang.

Hard.

PS – Rob Trujillo isn’t wearing shorts, so it’s admittedly a little weird…but other than that, pretty damn amazing.

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It’s always a challenge to take a long living hit from the last decade or two and remix that song into something that could be just as big. Hailing from London, the progressive house duo, Third Party, most notably associated with Steve Angello and SIZE Records, has finally released one of the most anticipated festival jams in a long time. Third Party has been producing quality releases, but the mystery has always been why there hadn’t been a public release of their remix of the Red Hot Chili Pepper’s 2000 single, “Otherside”. For about 2 years now, we’ve been hearing snippets of this song in many different DJ’s festival sets. As soon as you’d hear Anthony Kiedis’s familiar voice with a large-scale festival sound system, you can’t help but sing along… and that goes for everyone. The entire audience joins in – a tough effect to have. The “Otherside” (Third Party Remix) is now officially out, and we couldn’t be more excited!

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1. TAMPONS (or whatever you prefer): Yeah, I’m going straight here, but for good reason.  Chances are, you’re going to be at that festival all day and night, and that means at least one trip to the porta potty.  This is one place you do NOT want to be unprepared.  Even if it’s not your time of the month, I can almost guarantee you that it’ll be someone else’s and she will be begging the line for help.  Help a fellow music loving gal out, it’ll create a better experience for all of us.  Tampax Pearl is the way to go.  Oh, and Midol couldn’t hurt either.

2. LIP BALM.  Long, hot, and dry days in the sun will have your lips shriveling up faster than you’d imagine.  When you’ve run out of money for overpriced water, it’s best to keep those smoochers hydrated with some balm!  When you finally squeeze your way into the front row, you’ll be all smiles when your favorite singer makes eye contact with you.  Smith’s Rosebud Salve is a godsend!

3. FACE TOWELETTES.  Festivals are dirty.  Like, really dirty.  It’s fun to embrace the grime, and you sort of need to in order to have any fun at all, but that doesn’t mean you need a mud mask.  A pack of face towelettes will help refresh you and your skin.  It’s best to go minimal with makeup anyway, so you shouldn’t have to worry about wiping off a layer of face.  Simple Cleansing Facial Wipes are gentle, yet effective, and I highly recommend sticking some in your bag.

4. WATERPROOF MASCARA.  I know, I just said to go minimal with makeup, but I didn’t say you had to go completely bare!  If you’re comfortable with a blank canvas, more power to you, but I know most ladies need at least a little paint to feel comfortable.  Waterproof mascara can be a pain for daily wear, but for festivals, it’s definitely an essential.  We’re going to keep it drugstore price-friendly here with Maybelline’s Volum’Express Waterproof Mascara, which will keep the raccoon eyes away and give you a fierce gaze.  Falsies is my fave!

5. A GOOD BRA (or bikini top):  Festivals = lots of dancing, jumping, slipping, and sliding.  You don’t want to be held back for fear of too much jiggle or a wardrobe malfunction!  A sturdy bra is absolutely vital to a flaw-free festival experience.  You may also choose to wear a bikini top (there is a decent chance you will get sprayed with a hose at some point), and in that case, make sure your ties are tight!  Bra-wise, Playtex Secrets Perfect Flex Underwire Bra is a great choice.  It’s comfortable without sacrificing shape or low-cut tops, and perfect for your next fest.

6. HAIR TIES: It might be seem obvious, but if extra hair ties aren’t on your checklist, you’ll be sorry later on.  You may lose your morals in a big crowd, but you definitely do not want to lose your one and only hair tie.  Keep an extra few in your bag or back pocket, your neck (or your friends) will thank you later.  I swear by Scünci No Damage hair ties.

7. DRY SHAMPOO:  This one’s especially important if you’re going to a festival like Bonnaroo (which ended yesterday, but next year you’ll be ready), where you may be camping out for a few days.  If you’re not going to have access to a shower, dry shampoo will keep the bounce in your locks and the grease to a minimum.  Suave Professionals Keratin Infusion Dry Shampoo not only works great, but it smells amazing too.

8. COMFORTABLE SHOES:  Strappy sandals are cute, but they’re not going to be so cute with broken and bloody toes.  Unless you’re planning on picnicking the whole time with your $9 nachos, you’re going to need a good pair of sneakers (or boots) to get by.  You don’t have to wear clunky mom shoes; Vans Lo Pros are sleek and don’t even need any breaking in.  They also come in, like, a bazillion different colors and styles.

9. CHANGE PURSE:  You’re probably going to need something to carry all of the mini must-haves with you, and a change purse is the easiest way to go.  You can fold up your bills and stick them right next to your tampons, hair ties, and whatever download cards you pick up throughout the day.  Might as well go with Blue Q’s cat butts one (though there are plenty of other designs too, I GUESS).

10. DISPOSABLE CAMERA:  You don’t want to have your expensive digital camera knocked out of your hand when a mosh pit suddenly opens up next to you and limbs start flying.  It may be the 21st century, but disposable cameras are still out there and the underexposed pictures still look kind of awesome, especially when they’re taken at a music festival.  Take photos of the bands, your friends, and whatever weird people/things you come across, and hang them in your room so the memories last forever.  Awww.  Fujifilm to the rescue!

There you have it, ladies.  You’re good to go for festival season, so have the most fun for me, okay?  And keep an eye out in the coming weeks for MORE festival essentials!

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Bad news, Bonnaroo fans: Mumford and Sons have officially announced the cancellation of their headlining performance due to the surgery that bassist Ted Dwayne underwent earlier this week for a blood clot in his brain.  The band’s just-release statement reads:

Dear friends,

It is with great joy that we can announce that Ted has been discharged from hospital and is on the road to a full recovery. The surgery went well, and the excellent medical team helping him are very pleased with his progress. He has been nothing short of heroic in how he has handled the whole ordeal, and now it has been medically proved that he does indeed have a brain.

Today, however, also marks the end of our Summer Stampede Tour. We were hoping to have made it out by Bonnaroo this weekend. But it is with sadness that we have to announce the cancellation of our scheduled performances at both Bonnaroo and Telluride Festivals, and our show at Cricket Wireless Amphitheater in Bonner Springs, KS. If we could’ve we would’ve, you know that about us. We trust that you can respect our collective desire to encourage Ted to make a full recovery, and that this is based purely on the medical advice we have received.

On behalf of Ted, and all of us really, we would like to thank every one for their compassion and support at this time and we are very excited to get back out on tour as soon as we can.

Ted, Ben, Marcus and Win

While I’m certainly bummed to hear about the cancellation, health obviously always comes first.  Wishing Ted a fast and painless recovery!

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For those of you who don’t know, Camp Bisco has become one of the East Coast’s premier music festivals since its launch in 1999, specializing in a mix of jam bands, electronic music, hip-hop and many other genres. The festival is hosted by the veteran band, Disco Biscuits, right outside Albany, New York. Camp Bisco is a bit less extravagant than your typical large-scale festival, but that’s just part of the experience. The founders of the festival have finalized and released this years impressive line-up, with notable artists such as Passion Pit, Tommy Trash and Bassnectar. Yes, the festival has becomes electronic-heavy, but if you look real close you can catch some hip-hop and jam band acts here and there. Check out the line-up for yourself; this year’s Camp Bisco’s going to be a wild one!

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Within the last few years, the United States has seen a sharp rise in EDM festival popularity, in all ages. The Electric Daisy Carnival brand, managed by the live events juggernaut, Insomniac, has expanded far and wide, reaching the greater Las Vegas, New York and Chicago markets. Anyone who follows the industry knows the big headliners that typically support and perform at these massive, weekend-long festivals. But with EDC Las Vegas coming up later this month, we thought it’d be nice to zero in on some of the artists that we’re excited about seeing in this year’s Las Vegas line-up.

Youngin’s
First things first; within the last year, many new artists have emerged from the underground and caught the mass’s attention.

– Audien
The Connecticut native has been tearing up the trance and progressive world for the last couple years, and recently has been finding a niche with electro tracks – all of which have been Beatport chart-toppers. Since his start, artists such as Hardwell, Tiesto, Ferry Corsten and Above & Beyond, have supported his music.
– Krewella
At this point, everyone’s heard Krewella’s radio mega-hit, “Alive”. The trio has a very diverse style of material ranging from dubstep, moombahton and straight house; seeing them live would be quite an experience.

Something Different
I like to think that some fans like to step out of their comfort zone and explore different kinds of performances.

– A-Trak
Label master of Fool’s Gold Records, one half of Duck Sauce (… Barbra Streisand), and one of the world’s best turntablists and remixers, A-Trak is in a league all his own. He touches on every aspect of the dance music scene whether it be EDM, hip-hop and anything in between. If you’re looking for a truly unique set, his stage is where to be.
– Just Blaze
What??? Just Blaze is going to be at EDC Las Vegas? YES. The hip-hop legend who’s best known for his productions with Jay-Z, Dipset, Eminem and more has been selected for the 128 bpm-heavy festival, and in recent years has experimented with the house music concept – I wouldn’t miss his set, period.

Veterans
As veteran DJ/producers, these guys are no-brainers for the average EDM fan. Not seeing either of these guys would be a crime. No description needed.
– Laidback Luke
– Carl Cox & Friends

Editors’ Personal Picks
The following artists are people I’ve seen before live (and loved) or have wanted to see live for a very, very long time. Each DJ has a different style, and I would expect each to have some of the hotter, more impressive sets. If you don’t know these guys, I definitely suggest doing some research!
– Calvin Harris
– Tommy Trash
– Sunnery James & Ryan Marciano
– Dyro

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Festival house bangers have become a massive trend in today’s EDM world. Even DJs and producers who have made names for themselves for making dance/club-style tracks for years have been hopping on the bandwagon. If it sells: why not, right? Alvaro, the Dutch producer behind Pitbull’s hit “Bon Bon”, has been tearing up the scene since last summer with various solo projects, a dirty collaboration with Quintino, and a release off of Tiesto’s record label, Musical Freedom. Alvaro’s new release with fellow Dutchman, MOTi, is quite a surprise. Both of these artists have had history conjuring rhythmic, electro “Dutch” house music with signature bleeps, bloops and drum racks that make you move your feet.

On June 3rd, the duo released “NaNaNa” off of Bingo Players label, Hysteria. It’s obviously a festival style track with long build-ups that incorporate minimal percussion until… the drop. Now, I don’t want to bash these two house music heavyweights, but if I had to tell you this track sounded original in essence, I’d be lying. Countless songs within the past year or two have had the very same structure and feel. With typical vocal loops and a… sort of… decently unique sounding lead synth, sometimes it’s just best stick to basics. I’m being quite harsh, but just because it sounds like most festival-aimed songs doesn’t mean it doesn’t bump! Throw this on at any party or any appropriate gathering, and it’ll be sure to turn some heads.

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Atoms for Peace
Beck
Animal Collective
Major Lazer
James Blake
Little Dragon
Sleigh Bells
Phantogram
STRFKR
Holy Ghost!
Japandroids
Tricky
Real Estate
Disclosure
Lord Huron
DJ Falcon
Haim
Palma Violets
Poolside
Adult.
Cayucas
Robert DeLong
IO Echo
Giraffage
Deep Sea Diver
Antwon

Whoa.  And the coolest part of it all?  If you go to the festival, you won’t have any problems missing bands because of overlapping sets, because there won’t be any!  The two-day early bird tickets go on sale this Friday, the 31st, for $130 at 1 p.m. EST.  You can see more ticketing information on the official Treasure Island Music Festival site.  Who’s going?!

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Where to begin?  The organization and execution of the event for both fans and artists were poor, to say the least.  To get in on Saturday, fans had to sit/stand through a multiple hour wait, just to be directed by confused parking attendants into newly created spots, as if they hadn’t known how many people would be coming.  When we finally actually found the entrance to the festival itself, we had to run to see the first band on our list (at 6pm).  The problem was, the smaller stages were not labeled, with the exception of tiny stand-up boards next to the sound tents in the back.  The setup of the four smaller stages was also, basically, a giant clusterf**k.  They were all directly next to each other, with hardly any separation between the bands, who were simultaneously playing.  There was plenty of space in the area, so I don’t know who approved that blueprint.  I mean, it’s not like band merch was taking up space, considering most of the bands opted out of bringing any (it quickly got out that there was a 30% merch cut).

The main “iPlay America” stage (with lights held up by cranes) wasn’t much of an improvement.  It was easy to find because its sound was overlapping the sound at the smaller stages, but when I did arrive there, the bands on my list were not on during their set times.  I eventually realized that the stage was running a FULL HOUR behind.  I checked my festival app to see no updates, heard no announcements in between performances, and saw no signs.  So, yeah, missed a band I had on my list.

A nice thing about the festival was that since it was at Six Flags, we were allowed to leave the area to go on rides.  I mean, the whole move to Six Flags was a terrible idea overall, but I’m looking on the bright side here.  I returned to the festival area around 9:05 pm, where a giant group of attendees were standing around outside the entrance looking disgruntled.  Annoyed security guards came to point out the small print of the one little sign that no one would be allowed back into the festival after 9pm, causing fans to miss the headliner if they had been in the park, which we had been encouraged to do.  Well, that didn’t go over too well, and we were eventually let back in, never given a reason for the initial restriction.  Didn’t think that one through too well.

The bands, as I said before, didn’t have it so great either.  Almost every band that I saw had their set cut short by at least one song, which resulted in a bunch of awkward exits.  The bands that I did get to see on my list were great while they lasted.  Notable performances include those from Glassjaw, Balance and Composure, Saves the Day, Bayside, and Fall Out Boy.  One band I was excited to see but  missed because of messed up set times was Daylight, who my friend told me expressed their grievances on stage. At least I could see the tweets:

Well that was some shit.

— Daylight (@DAYLIGHTpa) May 19, 2013

You said it.  It also rained the entire weekend, but I’ll blame that on no one but Mother Nature.  Certainly didn’t help the morale, though.  And while I’m on personal complaints, let me just say that being stuck next to people who had only “heard of” the bands I was trying to see on the main stage but were staying up front just to see the headliners made me feel like, well…

I’ve read some rumors about last minute troubles with the law and such, but with no official announcements, I’m pushing all of that aside.  I’ve been to multiple fantastic festivals (Bamboozles) in the past seven years run by the same creators, and looking back on the experiences, I have no idea how it all went downhill so quickly.  I didn’t mean to bitch and moan so much but…wait, yeah I did.  Can someone please get me to Riot Fest to make up for all of this?

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