Now, while I may not be a man, I happen to have grown up with more than a few (So. Many. Brothers.) so I consider myself somewhat well-informed on what guys – bros in particular – enjoy. While all men are undeniably entertaining, my favorite guys happen to be festival bros.  What exactly is a festival bro, you ask? Well, you might be one if you have ever gone to a concert and said/yelled one or more of the following:

• You know what this festival needs? BEER PONG.
• Sun’s out, guns out!
• Yo dude, put on “Levels” again!
• Watch it! You almost spilled beer on my “Party With Sluts” tank!
• Oh my GOD man, did you see the slam-pieces at the port-a-potties? That brunette in the fringe could GET IT.
• I’m not settling for any girl less than a solid 7.5 today. Last week was an exception.
• LET’S F*CKIN’ RAAAAGGGGEEEEEE!!!!!!

Yeah, you know who you are.

Lucky for you, I happen to have compiled a list of absolute bro-sentials for your rage-cation, so you can focus on having the most bitchin’ time possible rather than worrying about what to pack.  So, without further ado…

1) SOLO CUPS – Always a staple of any party, pre-game, post-game, or Tuesday morning, Solo Cups have been scientifically proven (not really) to serve approximately a million different purposes.  I mean, come on, they can hold beer, liquor, OR soda (only if you’re lame though, go home.) So make sure to grab at least one pack for any festival outing and get your drink on!
BRO TIP: Don’t bring too many.  If you “happen” to run out, or your drunkard friends wander off with them, you can always strike up a convo with the hottie the next car over to borrow some. SHWING!

2) SH*T BOX – Yo man, don’t look at me like that. You know as well as I do that there’s literally NOTHING worse than being so close to sealing the deal with that 9.5 you were talking to (you know, the one that lent you the solo cups? Yeah, that one) and having the beer sh*ts. Even worse? All her friends are over at the port-a-potties still, and will totally judge you if you’re in there for more than five minutes.  So excuse yourself to “get more beer,” grab this happy little doody box, find a quiet corner (good luck with that,) and pop a squat. You’ll be glad you did.
BRO TIP: Bring extra sh*t bags. While lightening may never strike twice, poop very well might.

3) NEON CLOTHING – Whether it be the above-mentioned “Party With Sluts” tank or a simple trucker hat that says “Rage,” you NEED neon. This way, what you’re there for is clear, and the bids can see you from a mile away. Doesn’t get better than that.
BRO TIP: The more neon, the better.  You know what they say, YORO, “You Only Rage Once”…that weekend, that is.

4) BEER KOOZIE – Every good bro should be like a boy scout when it comes to getting hammered: always prepared.  Beer koozies are probably the most basic thing you can have, but are also the most useful.  There are few things worse than a warm Natty Light, hamiright?
BRO TIP: if at all possible, your koozie should say something. Great conversation starter, and everyone knows that only GDI’s have plain ones. Don’t be a GDI.

5) SUNGLASSES – The last thing you want to do is have everyone think you’re a creeper because it looks like you’re glaring at them all day.  Avoid that problem altogether and match your hat and tank with some neon wayfarers.  The best part? They’re so cheap that they’ll barely cut into your beer fund!
BRO TIP: Avoid anything with a tinted lens.  No one wants to look at you and see there drunken selves in your eyes.

6) DISPOSABLE CAMERA – While many say that “memories may last forever” let’s face it: if you don’t remember anything in the first place, they really don’t.  Make sure that those memories really do stay with you by bringing a camera to the festival, and hey, also make sure to snap a pic with all of the 9’s you were talking to so you can make all your bros back home jealous.
BRO TIP: No selfies.

7) LIGHTERS – For regular cigarettes, funny cigarettes, or even if you just like to burn sh*t, you never want to be the guy without a lighter. If a slampiece comes up to you and asks for a light, what are you gonna do? Nothing, you’re going to watch her go to the Sigma Delta Boner a couple people down and lose a bangin’ opportunity. Don’t be that guy.
BRO TIP: Try not to use said lighter to set that pledge that tagged along on fire.

8) SPEAKERS – What’s a pre-game without some bitchin’ tunes? LAME, that’s what.  Bring some portable speakers along to make sure you don’t overheat and/or kill the battery of your mom’s minivan, we all know how she is when she’s mad. (She’s HOT, that’s what.)
BRO TIP: When I say portable speakers, I mean just that: SPEAKERS. Don’t be the guy with the boombox, (too big and 90’s,) and even worse, don’t skimp on the speakers altogether and be the guy with the guitar (no one wants to hear you play “Wonderwall” AGAIN.)

9) UMBRELLA – Now, many would not think of this, but an umbrella is really a sure-fire way to pick up chicks.  Think about it: it starts to pour, all the 9’s are going to be terrified of melting into 7’s (or even 6’s in some rare cases, yikes,) so why not have them snuggle up under your nice big umbrella with you? Exactly. You’re welcome.
BRO TIP: Have your umbrella be as big as possible. The more the merrier, after all.

10) CONDOMS – Yeah, you read that right. I’m going there. Always prepared, remember?
BRO TIP: Nothin. You got this…go get em, slugger.

Happy raging!

The post Top 10 Must-Have Music Festival Essentials For Bros appeared first on JamSpreader.

1. TAMPONS (or whatever you prefer): Yeah, I’m going straight here, but for good reason.  Chances are, you’re going to be at that festival all day and night, and that means at least one trip to the porta potty.  This is one place you do NOT want to be unprepared.  Even if it’s not your time of the month, I can almost guarantee you that it’ll be someone else’s and she will be begging the line for help.  Help a fellow music loving gal out, it’ll create a better experience for all of us.  Tampax Pearl is the way to go.  Oh, and Midol couldn’t hurt either.

2. LIP BALM.  Long, hot, and dry days in the sun will have your lips shriveling up faster than you’d imagine.  When you’ve run out of money for overpriced water, it’s best to keep those smoochers hydrated with some balm!  When you finally squeeze your way into the front row, you’ll be all smiles when your favorite singer makes eye contact with you.  Smith’s Rosebud Salve is a godsend!

3. FACE TOWELETTES.  Festivals are dirty.  Like, really dirty.  It’s fun to embrace the grime, and you sort of need to in order to have any fun at all, but that doesn’t mean you need a mud mask.  A pack of face towelettes will help refresh you and your skin.  It’s best to go minimal with makeup anyway, so you shouldn’t have to worry about wiping off a layer of face.  Simple Cleansing Facial Wipes are gentle, yet effective, and I highly recommend sticking some in your bag.

4. WATERPROOF MASCARA.  I know, I just said to go minimal with makeup, but I didn’t say you had to go completely bare!  If you’re comfortable with a blank canvas, more power to you, but I know most ladies need at least a little paint to feel comfortable.  Waterproof mascara can be a pain for daily wear, but for festivals, it’s definitely an essential.  We’re going to keep it drugstore price-friendly here with Maybelline’s Volum’Express Waterproof Mascara, which will keep the raccoon eyes away and give you a fierce gaze.  Falsies is my fave!

5. A GOOD BRA (or bikini top):  Festivals = lots of dancing, jumping, slipping, and sliding.  You don’t want to be held back for fear of too much jiggle or a wardrobe malfunction!  A sturdy bra is absolutely vital to a flaw-free festival experience.  You may also choose to wear a bikini top (there is a decent chance you will get sprayed with a hose at some point), and in that case, make sure your ties are tight!  Bra-wise, Playtex Secrets Perfect Flex Underwire Bra is a great choice.  It’s comfortable without sacrificing shape or low-cut tops, and perfect for your next fest.

6. HAIR TIES: It might be seem obvious, but if extra hair ties aren’t on your checklist, you’ll be sorry later on.  You may lose your morals in a big crowd, but you definitely do not want to lose your one and only hair tie.  Keep an extra few in your bag or back pocket, your neck (or your friends) will thank you later.  I swear by Scünci No Damage hair ties.

7. DRY SHAMPOO:  This one’s especially important if you’re going to a festival like Bonnaroo (which ended yesterday, but next year you’ll be ready), where you may be camping out for a few days.  If you’re not going to have access to a shower, dry shampoo will keep the bounce in your locks and the grease to a minimum.  Suave Professionals Keratin Infusion Dry Shampoo not only works great, but it smells amazing too.

8. COMFORTABLE SHOES:  Strappy sandals are cute, but they’re not going to be so cute with broken and bloody toes.  Unless you’re planning on picnicking the whole time with your $9 nachos, you’re going to need a good pair of sneakers (or boots) to get by.  You don’t have to wear clunky mom shoes; Vans Lo Pros are sleek and don’t even need any breaking in.  They also come in, like, a bazillion different colors and styles.

9. CHANGE PURSE:  You’re probably going to need something to carry all of the mini must-haves with you, and a change purse is the easiest way to go.  You can fold up your bills and stick them right next to your tampons, hair ties, and whatever download cards you pick up throughout the day.  Might as well go with Blue Q’s cat butts one (though there are plenty of other designs too, I GUESS).

10. DISPOSABLE CAMERA:  You don’t want to have your expensive digital camera knocked out of your hand when a mosh pit suddenly opens up next to you and limbs start flying.  It may be the 21st century, but disposable cameras are still out there and the underexposed pictures still look kind of awesome, especially when they’re taken at a music festival.  Take photos of the bands, your friends, and whatever weird people/things you come across, and hang them in your room so the memories last forever.  Awww.  Fujifilm to the rescue!

There you have it, ladies.  You’re good to go for festival season, so have the most fun for me, okay?  And keep an eye out in the coming weeks for MORE festival essentials!

The post 10 Must-Have Music Festival Essentials for Girls appeared first on JamSpreader.

This past Sunday, I had the incredible opportunity to attend New York City’s 2013 New Music Seminar‘s Opening Night at Webster Hall, and it was QUITE the event!  The night was filled with great people, networking opportunities, and of course – amazing music!  With performers like 2AM Club, Air Traffic Controller, The Soul Rebels, Catey Shaw, and more, attendees were treated to a night of some of the best up and comers in the industry. I was personally incredibly impressed with 2AM Club, who got the entire crowd up and dancing within a matter of seconds with their perky beats and contagious personalities, and Catey Shaw, who did a captivating cover of Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love.” It’s hard to do Zeppelin right, but by God, Catey…Robert Plant would be proud.

Along with the main stage performances, guests were able to see the legendary stage performance coach Tom Jackson, who has worked with the likes of Taylor Swift and The Band Perry, work his magic on the already-talented Brooklyn native Krissy Krissy down in the venues studio space.  He passionately preached:

“People buy moments, not songs. Your job is to create a moment, and the first step is to create a vision for your performance.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself.  Overall, the New Music Seminar was a treasure trove of hidden gems in the industry, and a fantastic opportunity to connect with countless people who are as passionate about music as can be, and I will absolutely be going back for many years to come!

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It’s that time of year again: FESTIVAL SEASON! For those of you lucky enough to attend a summer music festival, the best way to have an unforgettable time is to be prepared, and we thought we’d make your lives easier by listing out the essentials! So snatch these must-haves up and have an amazing time!

1) SUNGLASSES: It may seem like a given, but you’d be surprised at just how many people forget these, and complain for the rest of the day about how “it’s too bright” and how they “can’t even see anything!” Don’t be “that guy.”  My personal suggestion? Urban Boundaries Eyewear Aviators. Affordable and functional, offer the darkest and biggest protection from the sun, so you won’t be squinting into the light anytime soon.

2) SUNSCREEN: This probably seems like even more of a given than the last one, but if the past has taught me anything, it’s that you will always almost forget sunscreen and end up regretting it the next day when you look (and feel) like a lobster.  Avoid the burn with Banana Boat Sport Spray, which is easy to apply AND prank-proof for those friends who like to leave spots uncovered on your back.

3) WATER: Music festivals are notorious for overcharging for literally everything, so stick it to the man in style with an adorable BPA-Free Bobble water bottle!  It comes in a rainbow of colors and is promised to keep you both hydrated AND rich.

4) HAND SANITIZER: Since the dawn of time (okay, fine, maybe since like…the 60’s…) festivals have been a gathering place for dirty hippies, earth muffins, and just plain old music lovers to come together in peace. Stay happy, healthy, and smelling fresh with a Bath & Body Works “PocketBac,” which comes in countless different scents AND a holder to latch onto any backpack or beltloop you deem fit!

5) BUG SPRAY: No one likes creepy-crawlies, especially when they’re feeling particularly “bite-y.” Save yourself from the itch and sting of pests with some scented “Off!” bug spray – you’ll be smelling like a rose but not attracting bugs like one!

6) TOILET PAPER: Now, I consider us all friends here, so I think a little potty talk is acceptable, don’t you? Great. Take it from me: if you’re going to a music festival, bring some extra TP. There is nothing – I repeat, NOTHING worse than finally getting to the John after an hour long wait only to find that you can’t even wipe. Now, if you don’t want to let everyone know just how much you love to “squeeze the Charmin,” try a to-go pack!

7) PORTABLE CELL PHONE CHARGER: It’s a fact of life – when you’re at a festival, your phone WILL die, and it WILL piss you off for the rest of the day.  Why not just avoid that altogether with a portable cell phone charger – one that’s cheetah print, nonetheless?!

8) FIRST AID KIT: Let’s face it – if you’re having as much fun as you SHOULD be having at a music festival, you’re going to need a first aid kit.  Best to keep a little tiny one in you’re pocket, because really, nothing is more of a buzzkill than a hospital visit, hamiright?

9) LIGHTERS: Not for that, man! (Okay, fine…maybe a little bit for that…) but mainly, always have a lighter for a concert so you can hold it up during the inevitable cover of “Freebird” that a band or fellow drunken concertgoer will serenade you with.  Having a legit lighter is SO much better than those cell phone lighter apps that everyone has nowadays, go oldschool with an actual one, and bring a couple extras!

10) A FLASK: Don’t look at me like that. This is, hands down, the best way to get wastey-pants and you know it. End of story.

So, there ya have it, folks! HAPPY FESTIVAL SEASON!

The post Top 10 Basic Music Festival Essentials appeared first on JamSpreader.

On this day in 1968 ska superstar Bradley Nowell was born in Long Beach, California.  Brad would grow up to be the frontman for one of the first and greatest ska punk bands to have a major influence in the 1990’s, Sublime.  Along with bandmates Eric Wilson and Bud Gaugh, Nowell would become the voice and leader of the ska scene on the west coast.  Unfortunately, like many of the greats, Nowell struggled with drug addiction and died of a Heroin overdose on May 25th, 1196, just one week after getting married and shortly before Sublime’s first major-label debut was set to be released.  He is survived by his wife, Troy Dendekker, his son, Jakob, and his millions of fans that both idolize him and his music to this day.  Keep on keepin’ on, Brad, and save me a cold 40 oz in Heaven, will ya?

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I am expecting one in my mailbox on February 14th.

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Credit goes to PinkBwunny on DeviantArt!

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