I never listened to the Kidz Bop CDs when I was younger. Even though I was 8 years old, the prime age for their target audience, I was safely steered away from Kidz Bop’s uncomfortable Top 40 covers by my parents blasting Iggy Pop and Outkast in their cars, and an older sister who informed me that if I wanted to be cool in middle school, I had to listen to music they played in PacSun.
Yeah. I was a pretty dope kid. Hold back your jealousy.
Anyway, Kidz Bop is widely known for choosing songs that are originally not-very-appropriate for kids to sing, giving the songs a real tough cleaning, and then handing those songs back to us in in the most hilarious and unsettling forms. It’s usually a bunch of 4th graders yelling into a microphone.
Presumably this kind of microphone.
Sorry for rambling. I have no idea why Kidz Bop is bringing up all of these emotions inside of me, but I do know that all this started when I listened to this recent gem of those boppin kidz covering Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop”:
I can’t.
“Walk up to the club like, ‘What up? I got a big c–k!'” is now “Walk up to the club like, ‘What up? I got a hit song!'” Whatever it was that smelled like R.Kelly’s sheets now smells like baseball cleats. And fifty dollars for a tee shirt? That’s not ignorant bitch s–t, it’s just “silly overpriced”.
I don’t even want to go into how many times the phrase “really awesome” gets drilled into your brain.
It’s a stunner of an aural train wreck. I can’t stop listening. Help.
