Miley Cyrus Releases Ridiculous Video for ‘We Can’t Stop’

miley cyrus, we can't stop, music video
Miley Cyrus will never be tamed, and if naming an album Can’t Be Tamed didn’t clue you in, she’s made sure to make her unflinching rebellious existence known in her new music video for “We Can’t Stop.”  Going into it, I can imagine the initial meeting went something like this:

Miley: I want everything attention-grabbing and provocative in the world that’s ever made parents angry.
Everyone else: OKAY.

Aaand that’s how we ended up with a video featuring smoke-shooting crotches and strutting with stuffed animals (some of which were alive at one point).  And obviously some girl-on-girl wrestling/grabbing.

lucille bluth, miley cyrus, we can't stop, arrested development, eye roll

I know, Lucille, I know.

Cyrus pops in her golden grills and sensually humps her white duvet so we know she’s ready to party, as friends eat money sandwiches and slice off their fingers in what I hope was supposed to be an excessively fake stunt, pink paint blood aside.  Twerking is never absent for too long, whether it’s appearing in alphabet soup, or in one of the 82375 shots we are given of Miley’s ass (in case we forgot she had one or something).  She also sticks her tongue out at us when it’s not being stuck down the throat of a doll.  What a rebel!  Hannah Montana, who?

miley cyrus, hannah montana

PEOPLE DON’T FORGET.

The most confusing part of it all for me is that the song itself is just not that exciting.  A video like this should be accompanied by a real club banger, and “We Can’t Stop” is anything but that.  Anyway, I’m clearly not impressed with Miley’s try-hard antics or attitude, but it’s not like she can stop, you know?  Plus, I don’t think she wants to.

miley cyrus, twerk, we can't stop





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