Oh, geez. Ohhhh geez. I never thought this would get out! Okay, let me explain:
Once upon a time, yours truly, (SpaceJam,) had a steamy affair with Harry Styles. No one was supposed to find out about our forbidden love…but someone did. Someone named Taylor Swift.
Oh, that—that’s not what happened? It’s all in my head? Oh. Fine, I guess I’ll tell you all what really happened…
After a whirlwind couple weeks of dating, Taylor Swift and Harry Styles, AKA “Haylor,” have officially headed to Splitsville. Their short-lived romance was filled with ski trips, long walks in the park, and, eventually, an ill-fated island getaway shortly after the start of the New Year which ended in disaster. According to reports, the couple headed to the British Virgin Islands for a vacation that ended in a blowout fight, with Swift leaving alone on January 4th, and Styles headed to Richard Branson’s private island to party with random babes in a hot tub. Cause, ya know, that’s what famous heartthrobs do to cure heartache.
So, to summarize: The bad news is that “Haylor” is over. The good news is that I’m not a homewrecker.
Works for me!