Limp Bizkit has a new “comeback” (and trust me, I use that word VERY loosely) featuring Lil Wayne, and it’s…well, it’s simply indescribable. In honor of this masterpiece (?) I’ve decided to walk everyone through this SIX MINUTE LONG mashup of all things terrible, titled, “Ready To Go,” through gifs. Enjoy.
The first six seconds of “Ready To Go” starts off – dare I say – almost promising, channeling oldschool Rage Against The Machine. Then, unfortunately, Ol’ Freddie starts yelling, about “gettin’ ready fo’ DISSSSS!” Leaving you:
And guess what?! After the yelling starts, it doesn’t stop…FOR NEARLY AN ENTIRE MINUTE. During this nightmare-inducing 60 seconds, you get to listen to Mr. Durst talk about “how dat rock shiiiiat doesn’t rock anymo’,” “drinkin’ gin til we pass out flat on the flo’,” and asking “is that cho bitch? Cause she told me that she’s ready to go!” SPOILER ALERT: you will hear these lines approximately 840 more times throughout the song as Fred attempts to string them into something resembling a “chorus.”
Impressed yet? No? Geez, tough crowd! Well, don’t you worry, because Durst starts in around the one-minute mark, and decides to not only refer to himself as a Rock God (yes, seriously,) but also start in on outdated Lady Gaga “Pokerface” references. Sorry Fred, it’s not 2008 anymore.
He then proceeds go talk about “bein’ Freddy D,” and – as if we don’t know who he is – tells us, “ya know, the one who got Britney on her knees.”
In your dreams, Freddy. IN. YOUR. DREAMS. Speaking of things that only happen in Mr. Durst’s dreams, he raps about Jessica Biel, saying, “bitch get at me if that ass is like Jessica Biel’s.”
After these three lines from “Never-gonna-happen-ville,” Fred pretty much gives up at making any sense, and starts putting random thoughts together. Don’t believe me? The man actually says, “she likes the way we pump it, I call her pumpkin pie.” (We can only assume “she” is another dream girl, but really, who even knows at this point?) Around 2:15, Lil Wayne (pre-sizzurp disaster, I’m guessing,) randomly starts rapping. I can only hope that Wayne lost a bet to get roped into this, because quite frankly, he deserves better. Wha-what’s that? Limp Biskit is now SIGNED to Cash Money Records? Excuse me…
Okay, I feel much better. Now, when Wayne comes into a track, the song does get marginally better. But before you have the chance to enjoy it, Wayne is gone again, leaving you with an always-angry Fred Durst, screaming the “chorus.” So, in conclusion, this song gets 1/5 stars. That 1 star? It’s for Lil Wayne. As for Fred Durst?